A Despicable Vacation
by Cortana Hansen
Summary: Edith goes to visit her uncle Dru and the Minions. Needless to say, the vacation isn't without perilous adventures, insane villains, and Minion madness moments.- Cover will eventually change
1. I: Direction and Magnitude, Part One

**So I got an interesting idea that I couldn't pass up. Hopefully you all like this. :) Here we go!**

. . .

 _ **Episode I: Direction and Magnitude, Part One**_

 _Outside Dru's mansion… 9:34 p.m._

Edith got off the plane, a pair of her suitcases in her hands. Here she was, on her own, visiting Dru. After much pleading with her father, she finally got to go visit her uncle for a month. A whole month! The young girl bounded past the pigs that were standing near the plane and raced up to mansion doors, bubbling with excitement. She couldn't wait.

Edith raised her hand and knocked on one of the doors. She stood there a moment, and shuffled around in the contents of one of the bags, looking for the blow horn. Ah, yes, there it was. Edith grabbed it and zipped the suitcase shut. The mansion doors opened with a creak, revealing a certain thin-faced butler.

"Ye- ack!" Fritz nearly had his eardrums burst as Edith honked the blow horn in his face. He looked down at her, unamused. "Edith… hello."

Edith grinned. "Hi, Fritz! Nice to see you're as old as ever. I can't wait to see Uncle Dru and the minions!"

"And torture me with your pranks, I'm sure," Fritz muttered. He stepped to the side for Edith to come in. "If you may, Edith."

Edith nodded and entered. She looked around the massive room, with the polished wood railing, the red velvet furniture and carpets, and white tile walls. She remembered just how amazed she was by the room. Though the painting of pigs on the ceiling were kind of weird. But weird was kind of her middle name, so it was fine.

"Edeeeeeth!" a familiar, excited voice called. Dru came running down the staircase and raced towards Edith. He grabbed her, causing her to drop her suitcases, and gave her a big hug. "Ooooh, I missed you so much!"

Edith smiled, returning the hug. "I missed you too, Dru."

Fritz cleared his throat as he closed the door. "Shall I take her things to her room?"

"Yes," Dru replied. While Fritz tended to Edith's belongings, Dru set the girl herself down and led her to the dining room. "After all dat traveling, you must be starveeng!"

Edith looked at him sheepishly. "Actually, I stuffed myself with chocolate mint banana splits the whole way here."

Dru chuckled in amusement. "Den I guess you won't get any dinner today."

"I still have room!" Edith whined.

Dru shook his head. "No, no, your dad sent very streect eenstructions about your diet."

Edith lowered her head and pouted.

"Just keeddeeng!" Dru rubbed her pink-hatted head affectionately. "Eat all dee food you want!"

Edith jumped for joy. "Yeah!"

. . .

 _Soon…_

Edith sat back in her dining chair, hands on her distended stomach. "That was _the_ best dinner I ever ate!"

Dru grinned at that. "I'm glad you liked eet."

"So are we gonna do a midnight ice cream heist now?" Edith asked.

"We just ate!" Dru told her. "And Gru was very streect about your bedtime."

Edith sighed. "Fine…"

Dru led her to the room she slept in with her sisters during the whole Bratt incident. Edith got the top bunk this time. She had wanted it when she and her family first visited Dru, but Agnes had put up such a fuss, so Edith had to take the middle bunk.

Edith climbed up the long ladder to the top bunk, then sat down in bed. She pulled the covers over her body and looked down at Dru. He was looking up at her. "Can you read me a story?"

Dru frowned. "Er… sure. What book?"

"'One Big Unicorn,'" Edith replied. "It's in my pink suitcase, on the chair."

Dru rummaged around in the suitcase, and, after a moment, triumphantly pulled out the book. Then he climbed up the ladder to the bunk bed and sat down beside Edith. "Alright, here we go." He looked at the cover of the book and smiled. "'By Gru.' My brother wrote dis?"

Edith nodded. "Yeah, after 'Sleepy Kittens' was 'accidentally destroyed maliciously.'"

Dru laughed. Then he opened up the book and started reading. Edith curled up in the blankets and listened.

 _"One big unicorn, strong and free,_

 _thought he was happy as he could be._

 _Then three little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down._

 _They made him laugh, they made him cry_

 _He never should have said goodbye."_

Edith was already asleep at this point, but Dru read the rest to himself.

 _"And now he knows he can never part from those three little kittens that changed his heart."_

"'Dey changed his heart?'" Dru repeated in a whisper. This story wasn't just about a unicorn and three kittens. It was Gru's story. Of how the three girls changed his whole life. Dru set the book down on the blanket and looked at Edith. He bent over and kissed her forehead. "Good night, Edeeth."

. . .

 _Location unknown… 3:45 A.M._

In a dark room, illuminated only by the large computer screen on the wall, a disturbingly familiar silhouette stood watching the people walking down the streets of Freedonia, which were filled with carts selling cheese. "Dad wasn't kidding when he said these guys were cheese heads. Now… where's that device…?"

The screen zoomed in on a building near the town edge. A diagram appeared, displaying an image of the target.

"Ah… there we go!"

Suddenly the lights came on. The room was evidently a small laboratory of some sort, with gadgets lining the bright white walls.

"Victor!" a deep and- slightly but not very- feminine voice called. "What did I tell you about turning off the lights?!"

Vector turned to glare at the fat old woman who barged in. "Mom! It helps me _think!"_

"You're going to strain your eyes!" his mother shot back. "How are you supposed to be a _villain_ if you go _blind,_ huh? No wonder your father ditched you with me!"

Vector let out a growl. "Where's that Shrink Ray when I need it?"

"Don't give me any mouth, Victor!"

"Don't call me that!"

. . .

 _Freedonia, 8:36 A.M… after breakfast…_

Edith and Dru headed down to his new lab, which was crawling with minions. Gadgets covered every wall, and Dru's new Villain-Wheels (he had a new one built after the first was destroyed) sat in the center. The ceiling was a glass dome, and golden sunlight shined through.

"This is awesome!" Edith exclaimed. Immediately she recognised a face in the crowd. On a worktable stood a certain one-eyed minion jamming away on his guitar. "Stuart!"

Stuart looked over at Dru and Edith. The minion smiled and stopped playing his guitar for the moment. "Bello!"

"Hey, hey, Stuart!" Dru called as he and Edith walked over to him. "How's dat fart cannon comeeng along?"

The chatter in the room was so loud that Stuart couldn't hear him properly. The minion grinned and exclaimed, "Kan pai!"

"What?!" Dru evidently couldn't hear Stuart very well either. "What deed you say?!"

Stuart acted as though he was insulted. "Tatata bala tu!"

Dru reached into his pocket and pulled out his new Minionese dictionary. Then he shouted, "Be quiet!"

The room went silent.

Dru flipped through the pages, frowning. "Alright, let's see here… aha! To steenk ko rotten bananas! Wait, dis is dee wrong page." He turned another page. "How's ta fart cannon meeko along?"

"Labada pata her," Stuart replied. "Prompo nik nak me rep la. Ka pudum hopa mi guitar, butthead."

"Whaaat deep to sola cora me, Stuart?" Dru was not happy.

"You can speak Minion?" Edith asked him.

Dru looked down at her. "Not as good as my brother. But yes. I can speak Minionese."

"Le awins Minionese duu pan a pig," Stuart said rudely.

"Stuart…" Dru glared at the minion.

"Um, can we look at the gadgets now?" Edith asked.

"Uh, right!" Dru led her over to his Villain-Wheels. Kevin was sitting in the driver's seat, eating a box of cookies. "Kevin, we talked about dis just yesterday. No eating een my new Villain-Wheels!"

"Het moka a gib, gib dia..." Kevin jumped out of the vehicle. "Bob! Coopee go hopa Blinx Ta Veela Sweeper!"

Edith frowned. "'Blinx the Time Sweeper?' What's that?"

Dru shrugged, then said, "Probably some veedeo game. So… do you theenk we should take her out for a spin?"

"Heck yeah!" Edith exclaimed.

. . .

 _At the edge of Freedonia Village… 9:04 A.M…_

Vector hid in the bushes in front of the building, his new-and-improved Squid Launcher in his hand. It was large facility, surrounded by fences and hidden by trees. Guards stood at the gate, chatting.

"You hear what happened to that chicken?" one asked.

"What chicken?" the other guard replied.

Vector jumped out of the bushes and shot at them with his Squid Launcher. The first squid hit one guard's face and clung to it tightly. "Argh! Get this _thing_ off my face!" He tried in vain to pull off the squid.

The second squid hit the other guard, its arms wrapping around his arms and abdomen. "Oh, shoot!"

Vector waltzed past the guards and pulled out a missile launcher. He fired it at the gate, blowing it to smithereens. He turned to the guards briefly and shouted in glee, "OH YEAH! Vector's back in the game! Hahaha!"


	2. II: Direction and Magnitude, Part Two

**Chapter two is up! I've decided to take a break from writing my Ratchet and Clank story, since I need a bit of a fresh perspective when I get back to it. Anyway, now to reply to reviews! :)**

 **KnightLawn: I liked this keep up the great work.**

 _ **Reply: Thanks. And I will do my best.**_

 **Swalker2000: Aww, man, I love this! Keep up the good work :)**

 _ **Reply: Thanks, I'm glad you like it so far. I'm new to writing these characters, so it means a lot to me that you're enjoying this. Hope you like this chapter as much as you did the previous. :)**_

 **The Smart One: I'm so thrilled about the idea of Dru and Edith having some free time together, especially with all of their similarities. I love your writing style and this story has great potential. Keep up the good work!**

 _ **Reply: Thanks! :) It's sometimes hard for me to write, so to hear that makes me happy. I'll do my best to... well, do my best.**_

 **Onto the story now!**

 **Note: There's a minor reference to Mythbusters in this chapter, so for those of you who are fans, keep an eye out for it! :) There are references to other media in here, so again, stay sharp. :)**

. . .

 _ **Episode II: Direction and Magnitude, Part Two**_

 _In the facility…_

Vector waltzed down the white corridor, a pair of Squid-Launchers in his hands. The young villain grinned evilly. "If only dad could see me now!" He rounded the corner and took out three more guards with his Squid Launchers. He left the guards to struggle with the squids and raced down the hall to a small door. It the side was a control panel.

"A six pass alpha-key encryption?!" Vector exclaimed. "Pah! This is easy!" He punched in a few keys and the door was open. Then he shot a couple of squids at the scientists who were in the room, working on the device.

While the scientists were busy trying to rip off the squids, Vector ran up to the table where the device was. It was a small, gold sphere with glowing light-blue markings running up and down its sides. A button was on the top of the sphere, presumably the "on" button.

"Don't touch that!" said one of the scientists who had a squid tangled about their abdomen. "We're still trying to fix it!"

"Fix it?" Vector asked, glaring at him. "What'ya mean, fix it?"

"It's a prototype!" the scientist said. "It caused some damage to the-!"

Vector narrowed his eyes with suspicion. "You're stalling!" He shot the scientist in the face with the Squid Launcher, shutting him up. The villain then pocketed the sphere and marched out of the room.

A few more minutes of fancy squid shooting and running around hallways, he was out of the base. As the villain rushed towards the town through the woods, he shouted, "In your faces, BI-"

As he spoke, a certain gold car came crashing through the woods towards him at high speeds. Vector jumped to the side and glared at the screaming occupants. His eyes widened at what he saw. Gru and Edith? "Gru?!"

Apparently the occupants didn't see him, as the vehicle just kept crashing through the woods. Vector frowned, staring at the back of the car as it disappeared into the trees.

"Since when did Gru have hair?"

 _And now… with the crazy driver and his equally crazy companion…_

"Woohoo!" Edith shouted as the vehicle flew off the cliff into the water below. She plunged deep into the water, but by kicking her feet, she got up to the surface. Dru was floating beside her, a little stunned at the moment. Thankfully the car automatically transformed into a motor boat, or they'd be in big trouble.

Dru saw the young girl and quickly embraced her with excitement. "Dat… was… AWESOME!" Apparently he thought nearly dying in a sixty-five foot plunge was pretty fun too.

"I know, right?" Edith asked excitedly. "Let's do it again!"

"Now, now," Du said as he lifted Edith into the passenger seat. "Dat was an acceedant. And I promised your father I wouldn't let you geet hurt. So no more falleeng from cleeffs, alright?"

Edith sighed and pouted. "Okay… fine."

Dru got in the driver's seat and put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey. We're goeeng to have fun together, okay? As much as I'd like to do dat again, I don't want you to geet hurt. You're my niece."

Edith nodded, looking down at her feet. "At least you didn't pee yourself."

"Um…" Dru grinned sheepishly. "I deed a leetle, actually."

Edith laughed. "Cool! 'Cuz I did too!"

Dru shook his head, chuckling, and steered the motorboat towards home.

. . .

"My, my, aren't you quite the mess," Fritz commented as Dru and Edith entered the mansion sopping wet. "May I ask how on Earth this happened?" Edith just stuck her tongue out at him in reply. Fritz frowned. "That's not ladylike."

"I'm not a lady!" Edith protested.

Dru laughed. "We just took a leetle speell, dat's all. Nothing to worry about."

After changing their clothes, Edith and Dru sat down on the living room couch. Dru picked up the remote and asked, "You want to watch some cartoons?" Edith nodded. Dru switched on the TV, and flipped through channels, trying to find the cartoons. As he did so, he saw something on the news channel that caught his eye.

 _MYSTERIOUS VILLAIN STEALS EXPERIMENTAL DEVICE._

"Does this look like a cartoon?" Edith asked somewhat rudely, looking at Dru with a raised eyebrow. Obviously it wasn't a cartoon, but she felt inclined to ask anyway.

"Hush," Dru said dismissively. He turned off the mute (it was on for whatever reason) and listened to the blonde female reporter as she talked about the incident.

 _"—64 news. Earlier today, a mysterious villain broke into the laboratory outside Freedonia Village and stole a top secret experiment,"_ the reporter spoke. _"Witnesses say he was using a… am I reading the right? A_ squid-gun. _Like anyone is going to take_ this _seriously. Ahem. Two of the guards say that this villain calls himself Vector. Vector? Isn't that the guy who stole the pyramid of Giza last year? Or was that the year before? Huh. Anyway, again, coming to you live from Channel 64 news."_

Dru heard Edith let out a cry. He jerked his head towards her and saw her run out of the living room. He quickly followed her. Edith raced into her bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Dru walked up to it, unsure of himself. "Edeeth? Can I come in?"

The only reply was the sound of crying and sniffling. One of the minions happened to walk by at that moment. It was Lance.

"Psst!" Dru caught the minion's attention. Dru continued, "Lance! Can you help me?"

Lance just frowned in confusion. The problem with him was that he was partially deaf ever since he decided to see what would happen if he shot a lit candle with a fart gun. You can guess what happened after that.

"Ka takan wry to," Lance said.

Dru sighed and repeated, "Can you help me?"

"Pluka louder!" Lance was getting annoyed.

The feeling was mutual. "Oh, forget eet," Dru muttered. He turned his attention back to Edith. "Edeeth?"

"Go away," came the angry reply.

Dru opened the door and stepped in. He closed it softly behind him. Edith was sitting on the floor next to a chair, crying softly.

"Edeeth… what's wrong?" Dru walked over and knelt down beside her.

Edith sniffled a little bit before responding. "I-it's nothing."

"Eet doesn't sound like eet's notheeng," Dru replied.

Edith sighed and leaned against Dru's chest. The sound of his heartbeat calmed her somewhat. She bit her lip and thought. Should she tell him what happened?

"Vector… he kidnapped us," Edith spoke. "Me and my sisters. We almost died. If dad hadn't come to rescue us, I wouldn't be here right now. Neither would Margo or Agnes."

Dru hugged Edith. "Hey, notheeng bad ees goeeng to happen to you. I promise."

"You can't make a promise you might not be able to keep," Edith told him.

"Maybe not," Dru replied. "But no matter what happeens, I'll do my best to protect you. Okay?"

Edith looked up at him and smiled through her tears. "Okay."

"So what happeened do dis Vector guy anyway?" Dru asked. "Deed my brother keeck hees butt?"

Edith laughed. "More like the moon did that for him."

"What do you mean?" Dru asked, confused. Say what now?

Edith grinned widely. "Have you ever heard of the Nefario Principle?"

. . .

 _Meanwhile… location unknown…_

Vector trudged into his living room and threw his Squid Launchers on his couch. The villain then flopped down beside his weapons lazily. He picked up his laptop off the table in front of him and turned it on. Within moments, he was surfing the internet.

Why was Gru here in Freedonia? He had to find out.

"VEEEEEECTOOOOOR!" It was his mother. "WHY IS MY SQUID TANK EMPTY?!"

"I DON'T KNOW, MOM!" Vector lied. "AND I DON'T CARE! I'M TRYING TO WORK HERE!"

"OH I SEE HOW IT IS! YOUR WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN MOTHER?!"

Vector let out a growl of annoyance. "I hate my life…"


	3. III: Direction and Magnitude, Part Three

**Chapter three is up. Truth be told, I still think this chapter needs some work. Personally, it feels somewhat... awkward, for lack of better words. So if anyone has any ideas for improvement, feel free to tell me in a review. Speaking of which, let's get to review replies. :)**

 **Swalker2000: I** **actually love this so, SO much, and we're only two chapters in! Edith is my favorite character in the movies, and you write her very, very well. The exchanges between her and Dru feel so realistic, to the point where I could actually picture them happening in the movies. In other words, very well done! Cannot wait for the next chapter!**

 _ **Reply: Thanks! :) Though Edith doesn't have a very big role in this chapter, unfortunately, you can bet she's gonna have a very big one in the next chapter. No spoilers, though!**_

 **Infinite's Ruby: Oh, I love this already. I love the interactions between Dru and Edith and keep up the great work with this story.**

 _ **Reply: Glad you like it so far! Man, so you're a fan of Sonic, Ratchet and Clank, Star Trek (or at least you have an interest in it), and also Despicable Me?! What**_ **aren't _you a fan of? Not that it's a bad thing. In fact, it's kind of cool to know someone who has an interest in a lot of fandoms, like me. :)_**

 **Onto the chapter!**

 **Note: By the time this story arc is over, I may combine some of the chapters.**

 **. . .**

 _ **Episode III: Direction and Magnitude, Part Three**_

 _Dru's mansion…_

Dru stood in the hall looking at the phone like it was a snake. What to do? That was the question. Dru reached over and took the phone off the receiver. Then he dialed his brother's phone number, hands trembling with sweat. He put the phone to his ear and waited for Gru to pick up. Dru didn't have to wait long for a response.

"Hello?" came a female voice. It was Lucy.

"Hi Lucy," Dru spoke. "Ees Gru dere?"

"Is there something wrong?" Lucy asked worriedly.

"I… I'm not sure," Dru replied. "Can I just talk to him? Please?"

"Okay, just a second."

Within a few moments, Gru was on the phone. "Dru?! What's goeeng on?! Ees Edeeth hurt?! Eef she ees, I'm holding you responsible!"

"Edeeth ees fine!" Dru told him, feeling somewhat offended by Gru's lack of trust. "I theenk so, anyway."

"You 'theenk so?' Dat's not very reassureeng."

"Gru, dere was dis guy on dee news earlier today," Dru said. "Scared dee daylights out of Edeeth…"

"What guy?"

"Some villain… he stole-"

"What guy? Geet to dee point, Dru!" Gru sounded pretty frustrated by this point.

Dru replied, "A guy named 'Vector!' Edeeth told me what happened weeth heem. Geeting keednapped, dee moon groweeng back to eet's original size… Gru, eef dis guy ees here in Freedonia, den Edeeth's een danger! What do I do?!" Dru started panicking. "I- I- I don't know what to do! He just robbed an experimental facility earlier today! And eet was guarded! Eef he knew Edeeth ees here-!"

"Dru, calm down," Gru told him. "Look, you steell have dee minions, right?"

"Right," Dru whimpered.

"Alright. So here's what you'll do-"

Suddenly Dru heard a thump in the adjacent room- which was the kitchen. "I'm goeeng to call you back, Gru." He put the phone back in the receiver. "Hello? Edeeth? Fritz?... Phil?"

Suddenly he felt a needle puncture his neck. Dru reached up and pulled it out. He looked at the object. It was a dart. "I hate needles…" He slumped to the floor, unconscious.

. . .

 _Meanwhile…_

Vector found some information about what happened with Gru since the whole moon fiasco- apparently the ex-villain once ran a jelly-making company. How sad. It went out of business a year ago.

Suddenly an icon popped up, saying, _BATTERY AT 0%. SHUTTING DOWN._

"Oh come on!" Vector slammed his fist on the keyboard. He had been so focused on finding information that he hadn't paid attention to the battery percentage. At that moment, the phone rang. Vector tossed his computer to the side and walked over to the phone. He then answered. "Hello? This is Vector speaking. With both direction _and_ magnitude! OH YEAH!"

"Victor, shut up," came a distorted female voice. "I trust you have the device."

"Uh, yeah," Vector replied. "And don't call me 'Victor!' That was my nerd name. Now, I'm Vector!"

"I'll call you whatever _I_ want, loser! I don't have to send you _back_ where I found you, _do I?_ Now, since you're already in Freedonia, I have another job for you."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" Vector shouted. "I can't stand another _hour_ with my 'mother!' She's like a flea on a dog! She's like an itch on my-!"

"HEY, I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW!" Vector's mother called from the adjacent room.

Vector ignored her as the woman on the phone said, "You may loathe your mother, _Victor_ … but believe me, you'll find that this job is worth a little more torture."

. . .

 _Sometime later… location unknown.._

Dru opened his eyes and groaned. His whole body ached. And he was lying on the floor. Who did this? And why?

Useless questions. All he knew was that he had been abducted. But he was about to get some answers. Suddenly, with a loud squeaking clank, the cell door opened. Into the room came a rather obese man.

Dru looked over at him warily. "Er… hi?"

"So _you're_ Dru. I am Silas Ramsbottom, the former director of the AVL," Ramsbottom told him. "I'm sure you're wondering why you're here."

"Yes, I am," Dru replied.

"My colleagues and I have reason to believe that a villainous agency known as Overkill has infiltrated the AVL," Ramsbottom spoke. "I have a contact who has told me that Valerie Da Vinci's assistants have been behaving strangely these past few months. My agent supplied us with quite a bit of information on the matter. That is, until she 'died of a heart attack' last month. We believe that she was murdered to cover-up whatever is going on."

Dru frowned. "What does dis have to do weeth me?"

"We want you to help us on the case," Ramsbottom answered. "Get yourself arrested by the AVL to get inside, stage a break-in and look at the files- I don't care. Just find out what Overkill is planning."

"No," Dru replied.

"No?"

"I am a villain. I'm supposed to be dee bad guy, not dee good guy! No! No, I weell not do dis! You're goeeng to send me back home. Now."

"This isn't about you," Ramsbottom said. "This is about preventing Overkill from destroying the AVL. This about protecting your _brother_. Think about it, Dru." He turned to leave, then continued,"Oh, and one more thing. _Don't_ tell _anyone_ about this. Ever."

Then Dru felt a needle in his neck and just before he lost consciousness, he muttered, "What ees eet weeth all dee needles…?"

. . .

Edith wandered down the halls, searching for her uncle. "Dru? Hellooooo!" She saw Tom in the living room up ahead, dusting a vase. And of course, he was wearing a maid's uniform, of all things.

Edith walked up to him and asked, "Tom, have you seen Uncle Dru?"

Tom looked at her and shrugged. "No, Ka noonan. Why?"

"I can't seem to find him," Edith told Tom. "Are you sure-"

"No! Ka mo a banana!" Tom stalked away in frustration.

"Well, _excuse_ me!" Edith muttered. She walked into the living room, where she found Kevin and Bob playing video games. "Have you seen Dru?"

Kevin looked at her, annoyed. "Sri doe!"

Bob was friendlier. "Bello! Quer da hopa com us?"

Edith frowned, then looked at the TV screen. They were playing some game with stupid unicorns in it. As if _Agnes_ being obsessed with unicorns wasn't enough… "Um… no thanks." She backed out of the room back into the hallway. This wasn't good. If Dru wasn't here… then where was he?

Suddenly there was the sound of a window smashing. Edith jerked her head to look down to the other end of the hall. Her eyes widened in shock. "Vector…"

"Hello, little girl," Vector greeted, smiling evilly. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"


	4. IV: Direction and Magnitude, Part Four

**Chapter four is up! :) Hopefully this chapter is good. Anyway, let's get started. First off, review!**

 **Infinite's Ruby: Oh no that ending with Vector. I'm scared for Edith now, and I love the interactions between Edith and Dru and keep up the good work with this story.**

 _ **Reply: Well, no spoilers as to what happens next. :) Hope you like this chapter too!**_

. . .

 _ **Episode IV: Direction and Magnitude, Part Four**_

 _Dru's mansion…_

 _Suddenly there was the sound of a window smashing. Edith jerked her head to look down to the other end of the hall. Her eyes widened in shock. "Vector…"_

 _"Hello, little girl," Vector greeted, smiling evilly. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"_

Edith scrambled into the living room and grabbed the nearest object- a vase. She threw it at Vector, who had just stumbled into the living room after her. The villain raised his Squid Launcher to protect his face. The vase shattered upon impact. The pieces fell to the floor with a clatter. Vector looked at the smashed remains of pottery, then at Edith. "Oh, you're really gonna get it now!"

Bob let out a shriek of terror and huddled behind Kevin for protection. The latter pulled a water pistol out of his front pocket and shot Vector with it. The villain sputtered as water splashed in his face. Edith grabbed one of the video game controllers on the floor and threw it at Vector. It hit him right in the forehead, causing him to clutch his forehead in pain.

"Touchdown!" Edith shouted with glee.

Vector leaped forward in an attempt to grab the girl. Edith quickly jumped to the side, and he ended up plowing into the TV. He slumped to the floor, unconscious.

Edith looked at the knocked-out Vector, then at Kevin and Bob. "I guess we should-" At that moment, a disoriented Dru came stumbling in, supported by a weary-looking Fritz. Edith turned her head and saw them. "Uncle Dru! Are you alright?"

"Had dee strangest dream," Dru murmured as Fritz helped him to the couch. As Dru sat down, he saw Vector lying on the floor. "What happeened here?"

"He broke in," Edith told him, "and we kicked his butt… what happened to you? I wanted to play Ninjedi with you, but I couldn't find you anywhere! Then Vector broke in and-"

"Wait, dat's _Vector?!"_ Dru walked over to the unconscious villain and nudged his body with his foot. "Doesn't look like much of a villain."

"Believe me, you're not the only one who thinks that," Edith said. "So what happened to you?"

Dru thought a moment. Should he tell them what happened? Surely it was just some wacky dream. "I'm not sure. One meenute I'm on dee phone, next theeng I know-"

At that moment, Stuart came racing in, the mail clutched in his hands. Which consisted a set of small white envelopes and one big yellow one. "Tew bem lapa tadda fino nunu to! Oafeye tu stupid at. Ta wigjag da bis poden. Nupi pik!" The minion shoved the envelopes into Dru's hands and stalked away in annoyance.

"Uh… thanks?" Dru tossed the white envelopes on the coffee table and opened the yellow one. He pulled out the sheet of paper that was inside. His eyes widened at what it said.

 **Hello Dru,**

 **By now, you should be back at your mansion. If you accept your assignment- and I think that you will- then you should remember these three-**

Dru, in a state of panic, stopped reading and stuffed the paper back in the envelope.

"Is there something wrong?" Edith asked.

Dru looked at her, mouth open, about to say something. But no words come out. Finally, after a moment, he manages to say, "No, no, notheeng ees wrong. Why would dere be anytheeng wrong?"

Edith knew immediately that this was a lie. She had been lied to so many times before, so this stung. But she tried to hide it and play along. "Uh huh. What re we gonna do with Mr. Magnitude here?"

"We can't exactly call the police," Fritz replied. "Not with Dru's lab in such close proximity to the mansion."

Dru thought a moment. "Uh… let's just tie heem up and lock heem een a closet. We'll feegure out what to do weeth heem later."

"Ooooh! Tup yee seek?" Bob asked in excitement. "Pudum Ka play?"

Kevin nudged Bob's shoulder. "No! Momwax pata da hug lom aka een ta closet la le hapire lexsax!"

So after locking up Vector, Dru hid himself in his room to read that letter. Sitting on his misshapen mess of a bed, Dru opened up the envelope and pulled out the letter. He started reading it again.

 **Hello Dru,**

 **By now, you should be back at your mansion. If you accept your assignment- and I think that you will- then you should remember these three rules:**

 **#1: Don't tell anyone about this.** ** _ABSOLUTELY_** **no one.**

 **#2: You must use every measure possible to complete this mission. Do not hold back.**

 **#3: Protect your cover at all costs.**

 **The file that I have provided with this letter will be of use to you. I advise that you study it carefully.**

 **Sincerely, Silas Ramsbottom**

Dru, frowning, stuffed the letter back in the envelope, and pulled out the file. He opened it up and looked at the information. He could barely understand anything the file said, so here's the gist of it:

Apparently Valerie Da Vinci's assistants are suspected to be involved in an attempt by Overkill to control the world. Typical villain plot. It was likely they acted as informants, as well as saboteurs. And while Ramsbottom's informant had a strong suspicion of this, she had no concrete proof. And when she tried to get her hands on said proof, she conveniently died of a heart attack.

So it was Dru's job to get into the AVL and get that proof. Yeah, like this would be a walk in the park. Dru stood up, shoving the file into the envelope. He tossed it into a drawer and shut it, leaving the mission to be forgotten.

But that wouldn't be so easy.

. . .

 _A few hours or so later… outside the mansion…_

Edith slammed the ball with her bat and watched the little cloth sphere soar through the air… and plummet over the side of the nearby cliff into the water below.

One of the minions who was playing baseball with her, Tom, pulled his baseball cap off his head and threw it on the ground. The minion promptly started jumping up and down on it. They had lost about fifty balls today all because Edith kept hitting the ball too hard.

Another minion, Jerry, turned to Edith with a frown. "To ply ta jugo mac ow."

"Yes, Jerry," Edith replied through gritted teeth. "I can see that!"

Bob came up to her and held up his teddy bear Tim, smiling. "Quer da hopa house?"

"No!" Edith snapped, glaring at the tiny minion. Bob's eyes widened and his lower lip trembled. Tears started slowly dripping from his big eyes. Oh no. Don't start. Not now. Bob started sobbing his head off at that moment. "No, no, no! Don't cry, Bob! Hey, look at the funny face!" She attempted to make a funny face so Bob would stop crying.

Needless to say, that was unsuccessful.

"Coopee linda kapee de aca bidom pik nam alga duu," Tom told Jerry. The two minions walked back to the mansion while Edith tried in vain to soothe Bob.

"C'mon, Bob, I didn't mean it!" Edith pleaded.

Bob just ran off after Tom and Jerry, still crying. Edith sighed and decided to follow them as well. She walked up the steps and entered the mansion.

Over on the side, she saw Dru talking on the phone. "Hey, Gru, just leaveeng you a message. I'm okay, just sometheeng came up. But eet's all good now. Notheeng to worry about. Anyway, dee Vector guy's been taken care of. He tried to break een, but got hees butt kicked pretty good. He's tied up een a closet right now."

At that moment he spotted Edith. "Oh, dere's Edeeth! You want to say sometheeng to your family?"

Edith nodded, frowning. Could this have anything to do with Dru's strange behaviour earlier today? Dru lowered the phone to her level so she could talk into it. "Hey, uh, miss you all! No bugs crawled in my ears last night!"

Dru made a disgusted expression at that last part. "Uh…"

"Okay, I'm done," Edith said.

Dru nodded, chuckling with slight embarrassment. He put the phone back to his ear. "Anyway, geet back to me as soon as you can. Bye." He set the device in the receiver and looked down at Edith. "I'm goeeng to see eef our uninvited visitor can give me some answers. Go see eef Dave would be weelleeng to let you use hees Playground Two."

"It's a Playstation Two," Edith corrected, grinning.

"Uh… right." Dru gave a weak smile in return. Edith then ran off excitedly to find Dave. Dru then sighed and walked down the hall to the closet where Vector was being held. The villain was awake now and had somehow rid himself of the gag, as he was shouting through the door, "Let me outta here! You don't know who you're messing with! I'm _Vector_ \- the guy who stole the pyramid of Giza!"

The minion who was guarding looked unimpressed. "Ba gos tis lega stupider pan kan le rum ta pyramid."

"Dere's sometheeng we can agree on," Dru said. He then opened the closet door and looked at Vector with a frown. Vector himself, who was still tied up and sitting on a pile of clothes on the floor, glared at Dru. His eyes widened in surprise. "Gru?!"

Dru raised an eyebrow. "Actually, my name ees Dru. Gru ees my last name, but my first name ees-"

"So you're not Felonious Gru," Vector interrupted. There was a slight pause. "That explains the hair. And why you have a fancy mansion."

"Right, right." Dru crossed his arms. "Why deed you break een? Was eet to keednap my niece? Because eef eet was, den you are een for a world of pain! Great, now I sound like my brother… can I start over weeth dee first impressions?"

Vector rolled his eyes. "Whatever. This one would have been great for revenge if that girl didn't have those stupid yellow things to protect her!" His eyes landed on the minion standing beside Dru. Said minion was giving him a death glare. "What are you looking at, you little annoying tic-tac?!"

"Why deed you break eento my house?" Dru asked again.

"Pffft!" Vector raised an eyebrow. "Like I'm gonna tell you that!"

Of course he's not going to tell them anything right away. Since when in the history of the universe did any good villain do that? Never.


	5. V: Direction and Magnitude, Part Five

**Chapter five is up! I listened to _Happy, Let It Go,_ and _Whatever It Takes_ about a hundred times while writing for motivational juices, so let's hope this chapter meets your expectations. :) ****And now it's time to reply to a review!**

 **Swalker2000: Sounding like a broken record at this point, but honestly, another great chapter. Keep going!**

 _ **Reply: Hey, better a broken record than no record at all, right? :) Thanks, and I'll do my best.**_

 **Alright, onto the chapter!**

. . .

 _ **Episode V: Direction and Magnitude, Part Five**_

"Look," Dru said to Vector for the hundredth time in a row. "Eef you don't tell me why you broke een, you're goeeng to have a lot more to worry about dan an angry boss. Den again, my dad never let me hear dee end of eet when I confessed do dee cops dat I robbed dat one candy store…"

"Yada, yada… you know, you suck at this interrogation thing," Vector told him. "We've been here for over half-an-hour. I bet your yellow buddy there could pull off a better one in less time!"

Dru rolled his eyes and started to walk away. "Okay, I'm done. Knock heem out again and keep guarding dee closet."

"Wait!" Vector called. There may be one tactic he could use to get out of this. "Just wait a second."

Dru stopped and turned to look at Vector. "I'm leesteneeng."

"How 'bout we make a deal?" Vector asked, trying not to smile as he turned his plot over and over in his head. Oh ho, this was _so_ evil. Appealing to a rookie villain's vanity. Vector's father was so missing out on this one."If you let me help you make a heist… I'll tell you everything you need to know about my employer."

Dru thought this over a moment. He did kind of want a heist partner. It wasn't really a necessity, but none of the minions were officially his designated partner. It might be fun. Plus, he'd get information. So there was an added bonus."Hm…"

Vector knew he was winning him over. But he decided to go the extra mile. "I've even got an idea of _what_ we could steal."

This offer was so tempting. Surely it couldn't hurt… right? Finally Dru, ignoring the little voice in his head that was telling him no, said, "Alright. But eef you're lyeeng-"

"I'm not lying, okay?!" Vector interrupted. "Now can you get these ropes off me? I'm getting cramped in here."

"Uh oh," the minion murmured. This was not good. Not in the slightest.

Vector, no matter how stupid he was, was not someone to be trusted.

 _Meanwhile…_

Edith sat on the living room floor with Phil and Kevin. They were having a tea party, since Dave wouldn't let Edith use his Playstation 2 or his Xbox 360. Which was somewhat annoying, but what can you do?

"Clink!" Edith exclaimed as she and Kevin clinked their cups. Then they pretended to drink. Then she clinked cups with Phil and they were about to pretend to drink again when a minion came racing in, shouting gibberish.

The minion collapsed next to Edith, panting.

"Mark, are you okay?" Edith asked.

Mark raised his hand for a moment of silence. When he caught his breath, he said, "Dru yee Vector mobla a ow! Asa feila pudum sot dak a heist kipere, Vector hutbar da topa Dru whaaat le uke da cono cama lo fehbub!"

"What?!" Edith stood up, dropping her cup on floor. Thankfully it was plastic, or it would have shattered upon impact. "They're going on a _heist?!"_

"Sup pak whaaat Ka sola said?" Mark asked.

"I have to stop them!" Edith ran off to the lab where she was sure Dru and Vector would be.

Mark just sat there, looking at Phil and Kevin. "Quer da nob a banana?"

 _The lab…_

Edith bounded through the lab entrance and spotted Dru and Vector in the middle of a crowd of minions. Apparently Dru was giving some kind of speech, as all the minions were focused on him. Edith stood there, listening carefully.

"… you're all wondereeng why I called you here," Dru spoke. "Vector has just made a propo-sometheeng-or-other to me. Een exchange for eenformation about hees employers, Vector wants to go on a heist weeth me. And dis… oh ho! Eet's no ordinary heist!"

The minions started cheering and clapping and all that happy racket.

"Wait, wait!" Dru waved his hands for silence. "Settle down, settle down!"

The minions went silent. Edith started pushing through the crowd so she could get to Dru. He couldn't be serious… could he?

"We are goeeng to steal sometheeng called dee Orb of… what deed you call eet again?" Dru turned to Vector questioningly.

"The Orb of Infinity," Vector replied.

"Yeah, dat, whatever eet ees," Dru said.

At that moment, Edith managed to reach the edge of the crowd. "Uncle Dru!"

Dru looked down it his niece with surprise. He knelt down to her level. "Are you alright Edeeth? Ees dere sometheeng wrong? Paul deedn't blow up dee keetchen again, deed he?"

"No!" Edith looked up at Dru worriedly. "It's Vector! He's tricking you, I just know it!"

"Edeeth," Dru spoke, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Eeet'll be fine- I have everytheeng under control. Now go back to dee playeeng, alright? We have very eemportant business to attend to."

"Right," Edith replied through gritted teeth, "because your stupid heist is more important than your own niece's thoughts!" She pulled away from Dru and raced through the crowd of minions.

Dru stayed knelt there for a moment, too stunned to say or do anything.

"Hey, Dru, are we gonna get back to the plan or what?" Vector asked.

"… right," Dru murmured. He stood up and continued, "So here's dee plan…"

 _That night…_

Edith lay curled up in bed, unable to sleep. How could she? Her uncle was leaving in the morning to go on a heist with Vector. She thought about calling her father, but that might just end badly. Very, very badly.

She suddenly felt a weight beside her on the bed. Edith turned over in the sheets and saw Dru sitting beside her. "Shouldn't you be asleep? It's going to be a _long_ day _tomorrow_ , I bet." The last few words she practically spat out.

Dru sighed. "Edeeth, please… I… I know you're worried. And maybe you're right. Maybe dis ees a treeck. But eef I have a chance at learneeng who Vector's employer ees and why dey had heem break een… I have to take eet. Besides… lately, stealeeng lollipops left and right has become pretty boreeng."

"He's probably just using you… what if he turns on you? What if he kills you? What if-"

Dru put a hand on her arm, interrupting her. "Edeeth. I weell be _fine._ But just een case, eef I'm not back by tomorrow eveneeng, call your father and tell heem everytheeng. Okay?"

Edith nodded. "Okay." She hesitated a moment, then pulled Dru into a hug. "Good night."

Dru returned the embrace. "Good night to you, too."

Edith pulled away and said, "Almost forgot!" She reached under her pillow and pulled out her "One Big Unicorn" book. "Can you read this to me again tonight?"

. . .

 _Meanwhile…_

Vector, as he sat down on the bed in his guest bedroom, pulled out his cellphone and dialed a number. He lifted the phone to his ear and waited. It wasn't long until a response came.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"It's me, Vector," Vector told the speaker. "Guess what?"

"You were successful in the assassination?"

"Even better," Vector said, grinning evilly. "C'mon… take a guess."

"Just _tell_ me already, Victor!"

"Alright, fine!" Vector exclaimed. "Man, you're such a killjoy."

"Yeah, get used to it."

"So…" Vector spoke. "I got caught-"

 _"WHAT?!_ I give you one simple task-!"

"Just listen, okay? Yes, I got caught. But my captor's a moron compared to his brother. I convinced him that if we team up, I'll tell him everything he needs to know! But here's the best part… we're going to steal the Orb of Infinity!"

"Hm… well done, Victor. You're not as stupid as you look."

Vector ignored that last part. "This is gonna be the most _epic_ revenge scheme in _history! Muahahahaha!_ Okay, gotta go. Bye."

As Vector hung up, he heard a light _thud_ outside the door. The villain let out a growl and, as he pulled his Squid Launcher out of his pocket, he walked up to the door and whipped it open.

There sat a minion who looked rather pale in the face. That told Vector that the minion heard every word of the conversation. "Hello, little guy… what's your name?"

"Dave," the minion answered.

"Well… _Dave,_ " Vector said viciously, "it's not nice to listen in on conversations that don't involve you."

"Labada non wed da tee orto huma ko noor wud," Dave replied.

"I have no idea what you just said," Vector said, grabbing Dave by the shoulder strap of his overalls, "and I don't care. I think we're gonna have to do something about your snooping, huh?"

Vector dragged Dave to a closet. The poor minion struggled to get away, but it was futile. "Hep! Neb pata da hug me aka!"

"Zip it!" Vector threw the minion in the closet, and, for good measure, shot him with the Squid Launcher. The squid landed right on the minion's face, muffling his speech and trapping his arms to his sides. Vector then slammed the door shut. "That should keep him quiet for a little while…"


	6. VI: Direction and Magnitude, Part Six

**Chapter six! :) Onto reviews!**

 **Infinite's Ruby: This chapter was great, and I love how protective Dru is of Edith and keep up the great work.**

 _ **Reply: Thanks. :) Looking forward to hearing more from you soon.**_

 **Swalker2000: Another great chapter! I love how quickly you're managing to release these updates. And the fact that you can keep releasing them in great quality as well is awesome. Can't wait for the next chapter :)**

 _ **Reply: Thanks! :) Although this chapter is kinda short, I hope it meets all your expectations.**_

 **crafordbrian17: I hope you bring back your private messaging soon, because I have another idea for your next story.**

 _ **Reply: I'll bring it back up soon, don't worry. But for now, I want to focus on this story for a few chapters. Then we'll talk, okay?**_

 **And that's that, folks!** **So sit back, relax, and enjoy. :)**

. . .

 _ **Episode VI: Direction and Magnitude, Part Six**_

 _Edith stood alone in the rain beneath the darkened sky. There was nothing else except for a black rocky expanse, and a cold wind. Not a normal breeze, but a strong freezing wind, one that chilled a person to the bone._

 _"Hello?" Edith called._

 _"Hello, little girl," a disturbingly familiar voice greeted._

 _As a chill ran down her spine, Edith whirled around and saw the speaker. "Vector."_

 _"Long time no see," Vector snarled, pulling a Piranha Gun out of his pocket. "Your father regretted the day he froze my head… and so did the rest of your family!"_

 _"WHAT?!" Edith clenched her fists tightly, anger rising. "What did you do?! Did you kill them?! Did you?!"_

 _"Yes. I did. For a little something called 'evil revenge', sweetheart. It's called being a villain, you see," Vector replied, grinning sinisterly. "Only one problem. I haven't fully extracted my vengeance. You. You're the last of the Gru's... so... goodbye,_ Edith Gru. _See you in the afterlife... if there is one! Hahahaha!"_

 _As Vector was about to pull the trigger, Edith threw a kick to his sensitive area._

 _"OW!" Vector buckled over in pain, dropping his Piranha Gun._

 _Edith snatched it up and pointed it at the villain. "D-don't move!" She was suddenly aware of the fact that, strangely enough, the Piranha Gun transformed into a small revolver. "I'll shoot you."_

 _Vector, getting over his intense pain for the moment, snarled at Edith, "You can't kill me. You can't kill anyone."_

 _"Don't tempt me," Edith replied, backing away slowly, trying to swallow her fears. Vector merely smirked and charged towards her. And Edith pulled the trigger._

"NGHH!" Edith gasped, wide awake. Sweat was pouring down her face and body, making her pajamas feel sticky. She sat up, placing her face in her hands. She felt horribly nauseous. That was just a dream, right? She didn't actually kill someone... did she? Eventually, after telling herself that it wasn't real, that it was only a dream, she fell back asleep.

That nightmare wasn't the worst that plagued her that night though. Many more kept waking her up, and eventually Edith decided that it wasn't even worth trying to sleep. It was 6:01 A.M. anyway, close to thirty minutes before the time she usually had to get up for school.

Edith climbed down the bunk's ladder and walked out of the room, headed for the kitchen. Something smelled good.

As she walked in, she saw Stuart standing on a step-ladder in front of the stove, mulling over something he was cooking in the pan.

"Stuart?" Edith addressed.

Stuart turned his head, smiling, and waved. "Bello! Deep to zee good?"

"Not at all," Edith replied, sitting down at the breakfast table. Vaguely she wondered why Dru had a separate table for each meal. "I kept having nightmares that Vector murdered my entire family… and then I killed him."

Stuart's expression changed from happy to disturbed at this. "Oh… non lega da fid dream?"

Edith looked at him with an expression that said "Shut up." Obviously she didn't want to talk about it. Stuart went back to looking at the pan and saw that what he was cooking was done.

He put it on a plate and placed it in front Edith. It was a mess of a pancake. Thankfully it was fully cooked (probably), but it was shredded, with a few big chunks here and there. Edith looked at Stuart, who was standing there waiting for approval- and asked, "What, did you cook this like you were cooking scrambled eggs?"

Stuart nodded, frowning. "Deep Ka batooay pik wrong?"

Edith laughed. "No, it's alright." Leave it to Dru to put Stuart in charge of cooking! Edith stopped laughing. Dru. "Did uncle Dru and Vector leave already?"

Stuart nodded.

Edith frowned sadly and hoped that Dru would make it back safe. Otherwise Vector would be in for the butt-kicking of his life.

Suddenly Edith heard the doorbell ring. "I'll get it!" She took off to answer the door. Meanwhile, Stuart looked at his misshapen creation on a plate.

Shrugging, he decided to try it. Stuart picked up the fork and stabbed a piece of shredded pancake. He stuck it in his mouth and immediately gagged in disgust. Guess it _wasn't_ fully cooked. The minion spat the piece of pancake on the floor. "Pak tos teaoxo!"

 _Meanwhile…_

Edith's feet skidded across the tile to the mansion doors, where Fritz had apparently beaten her to it and already answered the door. She'd get back at him for it. But at the moment, she listened to the conversation going on between the butler and whoever was at the door.

"I am terribly sorry," Fritz said, "but I am afraid Dru is not here at the moment. Come back tomorrow and he should be here."

"This cannot wait," a deep voice replied. "We have received information that Vector is being held here. We were sent to retrieve him and take him to the AVL for questioning."

Edith frowned. Odd, that the AVL decided to send unfamiliar agents to bring in Vector when they could have instead sent her parents. Something was off. She walked over to Fritz and peeked out the door. Outside stood a pair of tall men in black suits. They both wore matching hats and sunglasses.

"Uh, sure," Edith said. "We'll bring Vector out in a minute. Just lemme talk to Mr. Fritz a moment."

The men nodded and Edith quickly shut the door. Before Fritz could say anything, she lifted a finger to her lips signaling for quiet. "Over here," Edith whispered, motioning him to follow.

Fritz followed her into the kitchen, where Stuart was trying to cook another pancake.

Edith turned to Fritz and said in a low voice, "Those aren't real AVL agents."

"What do you mean?" Fritz demanded, crossing his arms.

"If those guys were really from the AVL," Edith told him, "then my parents would be with them. But they're not."

"Perhaps your parents are on a mission?" Fritz offered.

"They would have called to let me know if they were," Edith replied. "And if not them, then Margo would have. Those guys outside aren't from the AVL. I know it!"

Fritz let out a sigh. "Alright… suppose you're right. What are we supposed to do? You promised to bring Vector out to them- but he's not here."

Edith turned to look at Stuart, who was tossing his latest pancake abomination in the garbage can. "Stuart?"

Stuart looked at Edith, frowning. "Si?"

"Do you happen to have your fart gun on you?"

. . .

 _Over a military base in Scotland…_

Dru peeked through the windshield of his Airship (the one that was technically Gru's) as he piloted it over the green grassy hills of Scotland. Within moments, he spotted the base below. "Dere eet ees!" He steered the airship so it was directly over the facility.

He then got out his seat and one of the minions hopped in to take over flying. Dru walked to where Vector was with a pair of minions- who were armed with fart guns, of course.

"Are you ready?" Dru asked.

Vector nodded, grabbing a parachute and putting it on his back. Dru did the same, then looked at the minions. "Why don't you have parachutes?"

"Auk sola uso noor overalls," one minion replied.

Dru sighed, grabbing a pair of parachutes off the wall and shoving them into the minions' hands. "No, you are _not_ goeeng to use your overalls. Dat's reediculous. Who pulls a heist weeth buck naked minions?"

The two minions looked at each other, frowning, and shrugged. They put on their parachutes without another word.

Dru let out a squeal and started dancing around excitedly. "We're gonna pull a heist! Ooooh! I'm so excited! Are you excited, Vector? Because I am! Oh, wait, I said dat already… hehe."

Vector rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Are we going or what?"

Dru nodded. "Last one at dee bottom is a hairy peeg!" The white-clad villain then jumped out of the airship.

Vector frowned, then looked at the minions. He smiled evilly. "Okay… which one of you wants to go _next?"_

. . .

 **Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. :) Btw, we've reached the end of the _Direction and Magnitude_ story arc, so next chapter will be the beginning of the next arc. Why am I beginning a new arc when this one hasn't quite reached its climax? Because I'm planning some hopefully interesting twists for the next chapter, which will result in a very different ending than the one I initially imagined. The next arc ties directly into this one.**

 **I'm not gonna spoil it though.**


	7. VII: Gone Haywire, Part One

**Chapter seven, the beginning of a new arc! :) Sorry that this chapter is shorter than normal, but I'll try to get the next one to be longer. Also... should I combine some of the previous chapters to make said chapters longer?**

 **Anyway, hope you all like. And while you're at it, please take a complementary fart gun.**

. . .

 _ **Episode VII: Gone Haywire, Part One**_

 _Dru's mansion…_

Edith scrambled behind a large flower pot in the hallway, panting. Apparently there were more than just two creepy phony AVL agents running around. And said phony agents didn't take too kindly to their fellow agents at the front door being knocked out by Stuart's fart gun.

So the phony agents broke into the mansion, and now here was Edith, running and hiding for her life.

Edith peeked around the pot and saw one of the intruders standing a ways away. And he spotted her. As the agent started running towards her, Edith sprinted away, adrenaline coursing through her veins. She scrambled around the corner into the living room, where she saw Fritz, Stuart, and several other minions being tied and gagged by another agent.

Edith was trapped. She turned to face her pursuer, who had stopped chasing and was smiling down at her sinisterly. "What'ya gonna do now, little girl? Cry like a baby?"

"Don't you _dare_ call me a baby!" Edith raced forward and kicked him in the shin.

The man didn't even flinch in pain, surpirisingly. Instead he grabbed her by the back of her shirt and lifted her up to face level. "Well, aren't you snappy?"

Edith huffed and crossed her arms.

"Quit screwin' around, Joe," another phony agent said, picking up some rope off the floor. "Let's tie her up and gag her and then get back to work. The boss wants everyone in the mansion to be outta the way when she gets the last Orb."

"Whatever, Ray," Joe huffed and tossed Edith onto the couch.

"Oof!" Edith glared at Joe, then at his companion, Ray. "My dad's gonna kick your butts when he hears about this!"

"When our boss gets the Orb," Joe said, "your dad won't be around to hear 'bout it."

Suddenly, at that moment, the living room window broke with a crash. Edith looked over and saw a tall, blue-haired young woman in a strange green costume. This was getting weirder and weirder…

The woman stood up, brushing broken glass off. "Well, that could have gone better."

"Get her!" Ray shouted. He and Joe charged towards her.

The woman raised her hands and a portal opened up in front of her. The two men ran through it, disappearing from view. Outside, screaming could be heard, followed by a loud splash.

Edith stared at the woman, jaw dropped. Finally, she stood up from the couch and said slowly, "That… was… AWESOME!"

The woman looked at her, frowning considerably. "Just doing my job." She walked up to Fritz and started untying him. "I'm Agent Voyd of the I.O.H."

"What's the I.O.H.?" Edith asked, walking over to Stuart and freeing him. The minion apparently seemed to have gotten a bit of a rash from the rope, as he was scratching his arms like crazy.

"The Incredible Organisation of Heroes," Voyd answered. "I was sent here to apprehend a man named 'Vector.' Have you seen him?"

Edith chuckled nervously. "Um… yeah, about that…"

"What do you mean 'about that?'" Voyd frowned even further. "Do you know where he is?"

"N-nothing!" Edith replied. "I didn't say anything about anything! What are we talking about again?"

At that moment, a minion came racing in, panting, clutching a squirming squid in his left hand. It was a very pale- looking Dave. "Vector... non pata da... hep nos! Boss... een paxmix!" Dave the collapsed onto the floor, clearly worn out.

"Oh no…" Edith murmured.

"What's going on?" Voyd asked. "What did that yellow tic-tac say?"

"You wanted to know where Vector is?" Edith asked. "Well… um, I don't suppose you know what the 'Orb of Infinity' is…"

Voyd's eyes went wide. "You said Orb of Infinity?"

Edith nodded. "Yeah. Uncle Dru and Vector went to steal it from some base in Scotland."

"Looks like I'm in for a little trip." Voyd stood up, finally having undone the last knot on the rope around Fritz.

"I can call my parents!" Edith told her. "They're AVL agents, they can help-"

"No time!" Voyd interrupted. She raised her hands and opened up a portal in front of her. "See ya later, kid!"

She jumped into the portal before Edith could say anything. "Oh no…" Edith looked at Fritz with a very worried expression. This was not good.

Not in the slightest.

 _Scotland... in the military facility…_

Dru scrambled around a corner, followed by his minions and Vector. A pair of guards were awaiting them.

"Hey, you can't be in here!" one guard said.

Dru fumbled around in his pockets and pulled out the first weapon he found- a Lipstick taser. As the guards pulled out their guns, Dru swung the taser and lashed them. Electricity coursed through the guards, and after doing the splits, they flopped onto the ground unconscious, twitching.

Dru looked at the taser, frowning. Then he grinned. "I have no idea how _dis_ ended up een dere, but I'm glad eet deed."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Vector replied, gripping his Piranha Gun tightly. "Let's go!"

"Well, la dee dah," Dru shot back, somewhat annoyed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Vector asked, glaring at the taller man.

"Oh, notheeng. Notheeng at all," Dru lied, electrocuting another guard with the taser while Vector shot the other with the Piranha Gun.

Kevin let out a growl and swung around his fart gun as he shouted, "Ka quer a pupla de ta ellsou mac!"

"Pipe down!" Dru whispered. "We're goeeng to geet caught!"

Kevin snorted and looked at his companion James, who just shrugged. The group continued down the corridor, approaching a door at the end. Next to it was a lock with a key pad.

"Pffft, this is too easy," Vector commented as he tapped away at the keys. Within moments, the door slid open and the group tiptoed inside. The room was dark. The only thing lighting it was a small pedestal in the center with lights along its sides. On top of said pedestal sat a small silver orb.

"Oooh!" Dru squealed. "Dis ees so cool! Race you dere!"

"No, wait-!" Before Vector could warn him, Dru ran forward towards their objective. Suddenly he stumbled as his foot stepped onto a lightly raised tile. The tile sunk, triggering the alarms. The room was lit up by flashing red lights as the alarm rang.

"What have you done?!" Vector shouted at him angrily.

Dru didn't know how reply. His words were stuck in his throat. Things were definitely not looking up.

. . .

 **Okay, so yeah, slight crossover with _The Incredibles_. But Voyd will most likely be the only one of those characters to appear in _A Despicable Vacation_. Anyway, originally she was going to appear much later in this series, like maybe halfway, but since I've got quite a bit planned for her, I figured why not have her appear now?**

 **Live long and prosper! :)**


	8. VIII: Gone Haywire, Part Two

**Chapter eight is up! :) Onto reviews!**

 **Swalker2000: For the one-millionth time, I love it! Was a little bit short, but that honestly doesn't matter if they're in good quality (which this is). Keep going :)**

 _ **Reply: Thanks! :) Sorry for the long wait for this chapter, but I lost a little steam. But not my enthusiasm for this story, which is still going strong. Hope you like this chapter!**_

. . .

 _ **Episode VIII: Gone Haywire, Part Two**_

 _Military base…_

Dru tasered another guard as he and his companions rushed to the exit. "C'mon, we're almost to dee exeet!"

"Great to know that!" Vector shot back.

"Sri pata da SHH!" Kevin screamed. "Yee Ka noonan lega thyjin da traigo a banana aah eve!"

"To hagan forty sanc fey to tup kaylay pin pak!" James replied.

"Now's not dee time!" Dru scolded. They had reached the end of the hall, where the exit was. The door was under lockdown.

"Blast it!" Vector glared at Dru. "This is all your fault! _You_ set off the alarms! _You_ prevented us from getting that Orb!"

"I know, I know! But eet's not my fault dat dee forcefield acteevated when I treepped dee alarm. But look at eet dis way," Dru replied as he pulled out random gadgets from his pockets. "At least we are not being attacked by dee Lepreechauns."

Vector let out a growl of frustration. "THAT'S AN _IRISH_ MYTH, YOU MORON!"

Dru finally found the gadget he wanted, which appeared to be some kind of mini-laser gun. He aimed it at the door and activated it. The laser started cutting the metal door. Dru moved the laser in a circle, making a hole large enough for them to crawl through.

The circle of metal fell backwards out of the hole and Dru shoved Kevin through first.

"Ack!" Kevin landed on the other side in a slightly stunned daze. James was shoved through the hole next and landed with his butt on Kevin's face. Kevin started screaming minion obscenities as he threw James off of him.

"Hey, watch dee language, Kevin!" Dru snapped as he crawled through next. He then waited for Vector, who came last. Then Dru pressed a button on the watch-like object on his wrist, activating the comm. "Jack, we're outside dee base now. Send een dee escape vehicle!"

 _"En pik, boss!"_

Within moments, a small motorcycle with a sidecar on each side came crashing through the trees above and landed several yards in front of them. Dru ran and hopped on the motorcycle itself, much to Vector's irritation. "Hey! Get offa there!"

Dru glared at him. "Why should I?"

"Because you're probably gonna crash and get us caught!" Vector shouted. "That's why!"

"Eef we continue to seet here argueeng about eet, we're goeeng to geet caught!" Dru shot back. "So geet een dee blasted sidecar before I make you!"

Kevin and James, who had already gotten in their sidecar, were watching the scene with little interest. It was when Kevin happened to glance behind them that he saw the guards swarming towards them a ways away.

"Boss! Boss! Ta sowhue nama miko! Ta sowhue nama miko!" Kevin exclaimed.

Dru looked and saw the guards. Then he looked at Vector. "Eet's now or never." Vector nodded and got in the sidecar. Dru then started up the vehicle and drove away at high speeds.

But the Scottish didn't take attempted robberies of military facilities all too lightly. After scrambling to their garage and getting in their vehicles, they were speeding after the villains. And shooting at them.

"Aaaayeeeee!" Dru swerved the motorcycle back and forth, dodging both trees and bullets. "I haven't felt dis much excitement seence my brother and I stopped Bratt from destroyeeng Hollywood!"

Vector let out an annoyed growl as he opened the sidecar's glovebox and shuffled around its contents. "Right, right…" He pulled out a small bazooka. "Hahahaha! Now this is great!"

Dru glanced over at Vector a moment. "Huh. How'd dat geet een dere?"

Vector shrugged. "Does it matter? Keep the bike steady- I got this under control!" He twisted around in his seat and aimed the bazooka at the guards chasing them.

"Wait, what?!" Dru looked back in front of them and quickly swerved to avoid a tree.

Vector almost fell out of his sidecar. He glared at Dru as he steadied the bazooka. "What'd I say about keeping this bike steady?!"

"Look, I'm doeeng dee best I can okay?!" Dru shot back. He jerked the motorcycle again to avoid a large boulder. Up ahead, it seemed like the trees were beginning to clear… oh crap. "Dere's a cleeeeeeeeeff! We're gonna dieeeeeeee!…"

The minions embraced each other and started screaming. "Aaaayeeeee!"

Vector looked over his shoulder and saw the cliff they were approaching. His eyes widened. "Oh, poop."

. . .

 _Meanwhile, at base in an unknown location…_

"What do you mean that I can't go?!" Voyd demanded, glaring at her boss Silas Ramsbottom from across the table. "Vector is at that base right now, stealing the Orb of Infinity! If he gets his hands on it-"

"The security at that base is impenetrable," Ramsbottom interrupted. "And if he took Dru along with him like you said he did… then they're bound to screw it up, one way or another."

"Then why did you pick Dru to infiltrate the AVL?" Voyd asked. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs.

"Because despite being terrible as a villain," Ramsbottom spoke, "from what my source told me before she was murdered, Dru actually saved Agent Gru's life. _And_ helped him capture Bratt. That's not something to be taken lightly."

"What did Mr. Incredible think of this?" Voyd pressed, not convinced.

"Mr. Incredible isn't here," Ramsbottom shot back. "You know he's busy in Siberia."

Voyd let out a sigh and crossed her arms. "And what am I supposed to do?"

"Go back to Dru's mansion and wait for him," Ramsbottom replied. Voyd stood up to leave, but Ramsbottom raised a hand for her to wait. "But you must be undercover. We need Dru to get into the AVL somehow. Perhaps if you were to be disguised as an agent, you can convince him to join. And then we can set the plan in motion."

"What if he still refuses?"

"He won't refuse. If there's one thing I know from his profile, it's that he can't refuse an attractive woman."

"Right," Voyd muttered. "Good day, Mr. Sheep's Butt!"

"It's Ramsbottom," the fat man corrected.

 _"Like that's any better,"_ Voyd thought.

. . .

 _Back at the base in Scotland…_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Dru's motorcycle shot off the cliff, sidecars and all. Its passengers flew out of their seats and were plummeting. Luckily at that moment, just before they would hit the water below, they flew threw an opening at the top of Dru's Airship and hit the metal floor. Hard.

"Ugh… anyone geet dee number of dat minkey truck…?" Dru asked as he lay there in a daze.

Kevin got up off the floor and walked over to the disoriented villain. "Mibqis a minkey?"

Vector sat up, rubbing his head. "Never, ever, am I teaming up with another villain again…" James just lay on the floor, groaning in pain.

Dru sat up slowly with Kevin's help. "My head hurts… ees everyone alright?"

Vector stood up and glared at Dru. "Alright?! Alright?! How can I be alright when we just failed to steal the Orb of Infinity! You're the worst villain in _history!"_

Dru looked down at his feet in shame as he remembered what his father said to him all those years ago.

 _"You're not goeeng to be a villain. You're too clumsy. Careless. Eencompetent, even. You just don't have what eet takes."_

"Why ees eet dat I always screw everytheeng up?" Dru murmured.

Vector stared at the villain, not having expected this response. He was expecting something volatile, not… submissive. He shook his head. "Never mind. I'm going in the back. I have a call to make."

As Vector walked away, Dru could only think of how his father must be turning in his grave right now.


End file.
